Bitter K's Gundam Seed Destiny episodes

Episodes 11-20

Lacus Figure

It's Ninja Lacus! Beware of her Haro commandoes.

Episode 11
Synopsis: Let's check on how things are going on ORB. Well, Calgari fails to do anything intelligent and proves that she can't out debate a paperclip. Orb prepares to join the Earth alliance so they'll stop picking on ORB. Now, back to PLANT. ZAFT decides to aggresively defend its interest. Hmmm.. It's not fighting or war, its aggressive defense. Meanwhile, Isak and Dearka from the first series show up to rough up Aslan and then have a heart felt talk among former psychos. Gundam pilots should never be allowed to dress themselves, by the way, as Isak and Dearka dress like the cast of Miami Vice. A white suit with pastels?
Comment 1: Wait a minute! Stop the presses! Calagri actually mentioned that the Earth force who sneak attacks with nuclear missiles might not be trust worthy. That's the first intelligent thing she has said this series.
Comment 2: And all to quick, she's back. Calgari is probably the only person that would be reassured when her scummy fiancee tells her that she just a girl and politics is too hard for her. Maybe Calgari mistook comfort and condescension again.
Comment 3: The mess hall in battleships have table cloths, menus and Maiter Ds?
Comment 4: Land on a space station is so plentiful that you can have sprawling graveyards to people who died in explosions. The few molecules need a proper 6 foot grave.

Episode 12
Synopsis: The 'Minerva' leave Orb and is pushed into a trap. They have to fight off an Earth Alliance fleet. Shin's Seed pops and he goes from 'suck' to 'blow'. Jar Jar Calgari does nada.
Comment 1: Making a mobile armor bigger, does not make it better.
Comment 2: We can make flying space craft, beam weapons and mobile suits, but our battleships still use projectile cannons with all the accuracy of a WW2 battleship.
Comment 3: If you have a beam that has enough power to completly recharge a GUNDAM in 0.5 seconds, why aren't you using it as a weapon. Why is a beam of energy so slow?

Episode 13
Synopsis: Minerva escapes. Aslan gets the keys to his New Gundam. Commandoes attack the retirement home for Seed cast and try to kill Lascus. Kira's drugs wear off and he decided to do something. He gets back the 'Freedom' Gundam and smacks down everything. Oh, and the "Desert Fox" is either Vash the Stampede or Cobra.
Comment 1: TORI is armor piercing? Kira is in a sealed Gundam and Tori lands on his shoulder at the end of the episode. Damn. I want a gun that fires Toris.
Comment 2: How much would it suck, as a commando, to know that your attack was thwarted by Haro Balls.
Comment 3: When did Cpt. Ramius get "Matrix" bullet time dodge?.
Comment 4: A country like ORB, who have been big on territorial defense and monitoring for the last 10 episodes, didn't notice the 6 ZAFT mecha sneak in?
Comment 5: After all the attackers are dead, it is apparently a happy moment. "Aww.. Kira remembered how to kill again. It warms the heart."
Comment 6: Where do you get contractors to build several sets of heavily reinforced blast rooms and a gundam bay in your seaside ranch home?

Episode 14
Synopsis: Jar Jar Calgali is forced into getting married even though her arranged husband is "Captain Conceited Asshole". Meanwhile, Kira has a cast reunion with all the background characters from the first series and they all pile into the "Archangel" that happened to be parked under their house. Did no one notice that thing was missing after the first war? Anyway, Kira flys off in his GUNDAM and 'abducts' Calgari right before she says 'I DO'. Who didn't see this one coming?
Comment 1: Where do you get house contractors that will build you a house with armored berths for a space battleship.
Comment 2: Kira's mom looks like Hyatt from Excell Saga.
Comment 3: Doves can outfly a GUNDAM.
Comment 4: ORB only elects the stupid and unlikable as their elected officials. The must have great Spin Doctors and Campaign Managers.

Episode 15
Synopsis: Kira brings Jar Jar Calgari to the 'Archangel', where her stupidity is berated by every living thing on the ship. Even Lacus and her Haro balls mock her. Calgari puts all of her brain power into her one true skill and cries. Meanwhile, Aslan flys around looking for the Minerva. He can't use a radio to call ZAFT forces, so he stops by ORB and is attacked. Later, he finds Minerva and joins up. He reveals that his secret mission, regrettably, isn't to give Shin a GUNDAM scale swirlie.
Comment 1: Did they invent gravity hem lines in the future? Are women in the future exhibitionists? Because a skirt doesn't seem practical in a zero G enviroment.
Comment 2: Does ZAFT only give their highest military awards to former traitors and people who sleep with the Chancellor?
Comment 3: The 'Archangel' is getting good at being the lone wolf. They can't go to ZAFT, Earth Force or ORB. They are proffessional bridge burners.
Comment 4: Do Psychotic kids make good choices for pilots? Wouldn't you want someone who could make a rational descision in combat? Or is that just a rule that the baddies have to be psychotic.
Comment 5: Can no female character in this damn series actually take care of themselves? Calgari, a former rebel fighter and pilot can't walk now without injuring herself. Captain Ramius can take out coordinator commandoes, but has to ask if she can command her own ship. Lunamaria is an elite ZAKU pilot that has to be saved by her male teammates everytime she flys out. Even the Psycho baddie chick has to be protected from pushy sailors. Geez, Where is Lady Haman when you need her?

Episode 16
Synopsis: Minerva steams on it's wacky voyage. Start singing the Love Boat theme. Suddenly, the Mad Masked Man attacks with a bunch of mobile suits borrowed from a super secret front line base being built to sneak attack ZAFT bases. Shhh! It's a secret base, even though it is real obvious. The blind guy with the orphans could find this thing. Does ZAFT not believe in spy sattelites or even arial recon? Athlan slaps Shin around, literally.
Comment 1:There are only 30 enemy mobile suits, lets only launch 2 of our 4 mobile suits.
Comment 2:Bazooka's work better underwater than beam rifles?
Comment 3:Mecha can run on water if they are fast enough.
Comment 4:Okay. Time out. Aslan, the guy who turned against his home country and own father and whined until he got to be outside the regular chain of command has the moxie to yell at people for not following orders?

Episode 17
Synopsis:The Minerva goes on a peaceful retreat to the Persian Gulf. The meet with Zaft forces to plan their attack against Earth force. Yet again, Zaft manages to paint their war as just, because the Earth forces are worse. Aslan tries to talk some sense into Shin's thick skull.
Comment 1:Calgari Quote of the week, while in a battleship, hiding from enemys, during a world encompassing war, "I still feel something is amiss."
Comment 2:The Zaft economy is apparently built on the Coffee bean. They grow in the dessert, apparently.
Comment 3:Our units can only attack through one canyon.... Um, what happened to all those flying units?
Comment 4:Every girl loves hitting on the guy they think has a fiancee.
Comment 5:It has been a whole episode since someone slapped Shin.

Episode 18
Synopsis:ZAFT and the Minerva attack the heavily defended pass with help of a spunky young resistance fighter. It's an important mission, so they give it to Shin. I'm thinking Aslan is hoping he doesn't make it. Shin boasts about his skills, gets mocked by the 14 year old resistance fighter girl, whines when he doesn't get his way, whines when they give him a dangerous job, and then acts like an ass when someone has an incling of faith in him. My hero! Shin manages not to screw up, barely, and the day is saved. The town boozes up and riots and murders the remaining Earth force. But, its okay because Earth force are the bad guys.
Comment 1:Earth force officers in every back water outpost know the given name of the enemy battleship, the "Minerva". How the heck do they know that?
Comment 2:Shin is surprised that it is pitch black in tunnels and caves. Apparently he was expecting a guided tour.
Comment 3:Flying battleships can turn on a dime and make fancy manuvers and 'touch and go's like a Cessna.
Comment 4:Shin's power is to target the individual pilots with mecha sized knives.

Episode 19
Synopsis:The fighters on Minerva get a break in the action and pull into a friendly port. They are surprised by a faux Lacus Clyne concert to up troop morale. The Chancelor throws a tea party. It must be pretty easy being the Chancelor if you've got so much free time on your hands. We learn the Chancellor and Minerva pilot Rei have a 'special' relationship, but it isn't explained. I'm hoping they are lovers, but its more likely that they are adopted father and son. All the Minerva pilots join the Chancellor and he butters up Shin, not literally. As they leave, the Chancellor and Aslan have a talk about the real Archangel and the real Lacus Clyne. He says that he wants to just talk to her and not send assasins to kill her. Really! He's not a bad guy! Really!
Comment 1:Faux Lacus Clyne has a pink Zaku of Love, the Real Lacus has a pink Battle Cruiser of Peace.
Comment 2:I was so hoping Faux Lacus's Zaku pilot would drop her or forget what he was doing and start clapping along while Faux Lacus danced in the Zaku's hand.
Comment 3:The Pink Zaku's shield says "Lacus Clyne Alive". 'Alive', Not 'Live'? I guess ZAFT was once fooled by a log with a pink wig once.
Comment 4:Okay. We get it. The psycho baddie chick likes the ocean. You don't have to ram it down our throat every 5 minutes.
Comment 5:According to Rei, Lunamaria should get shore leave "Beacause she's female". Misogony...In...Space!!

Episode 20
Synopsis:It's substitute teacher day on Gundam Seed Destiny. The entire episode is a synopsis of the first show and the major events in the first 19 episodes through Shin's viewpoint. Shin's life is pretty boring.
Comment 1:Okay, something I thought of while listening to Shin drone on. Orb is an island nation in the middle of the Pacific that is home to both Coordinators and Normals. Hmm... Do we know any important island in the Pacific with mixed inhabitants? Hawaii, with it's large American and Japanese populations. The next thought is that the Normals and Coordinators might represent the Japanese and American people. Let us review the first series in those terms. The Coordinator's homes keep getting nuked. The coordinator leader declares "We must fire before being fired upon". War only comes to Orb when the Earth Force (Normals) bring a battleship there (Archangel). While the Battleship is at Orb, ZAFT sends in a Coordinator raiding party to blow it up in port. Hmm...Revisionist WW2, the series. I'll stop now before I scare myself more.
Comment 2:It's been 4 episodes since someone slapped Shin. This show taunts me with the promise of people slapping Shin and doesn't deliver.


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