Strange Magical Items

These are a few of my favorite things...

+10 Magical Pants
Rolemaster: No bonuses to armor, Charisma, or even kick damage.It was just a really nice, magical, set of pants. Maybe they were magically stain resistant.

Pocket Cleric
D&D: A great Gondite idea of mine. Enless usess.

Six Flags over Solaris
Battletech: Speaking of too much money. We tried to buy Solaris VII. When they refused, we built a theme park instead.

MegaDamage Staplegun
RoboTech (Palladium): Just the thing to keep the kidnap prone NPC in her place.

Magic dragon slaying sword with underhilt pump action fireball launching wand, Assault Pinstriping, and splash guard.
Rolemaster: A wish spell and too much caffenine

Dragon Rod
Rifts: Most Dragon Rod weapons are infused with the souls of heros. This one got the soul of a cook. That didn't matter, because the moron character (mine) thought it was a hamster anyway.

The 1-ton Hovertank
Battletech: Feared by all GMs. No weapons, No Armor. Just a ground vehicle that can do Mach and can keep up with fighter aircraft.

Cooking Pot of Doom
Ironclaw: a normal cooking pot, tied to a rope and used as a ranged weapon. For some reason it was deadly accurate.

Toad of Doom
D&D: A wizard's Familiar gets half of the Wizard's hit points and uses the Wizard's base attacks (if higher). Now imagine a 21 level fighter taking a single level of Wizard.

Leaping Luchedor Zombies
Mutants & Masterminds: The creative undead took a page from Mexican Wrestlers and learned to leap and roll in order to better fight the group of flying heros. Luchedor Zombies... I guess that is why they are called 'Mad Scientist'. I mean, he could have just given his undead hordes a couple of ladders, but I guess that wouldn't have had the flair.

Wand of Wonderbra
D&D: Poof! It lifts and seperates.

Mace of Slack-jawed Drooling.
D&D: a magic mace. It wasn't cursed, but the user couldn't roll above a 3 on a D20.

A 'Trapper Keeper' with Power Rangers on the cover, but the Power Rangers are Chickens.
D&D: The spell book for the comic relief Wizard (At least as imagined by the rest of the party).

A semi-trained Puffin-Dingo and a Puffin-Dingo Training Mallet.
Sluggy Freelance RPG: mix with just a spritz of a negative "Handle/Train Animal" role. Fun for the whole family. Well at least the ones that aren't eaten.

Figurine, Gamera
D&D: Its a magical animal figurine, like in the D&D DMG, except it's Gamera, the jet powered war turtle. Too bad it was only war horse size.

+30 magical, Eog Fishinghooks
Rolemaster: Really good Fishing hooks. Things like this should clue you in, as a gamemaster, that your party has too much money.

Attack Roosters
D&D: Specially trained attack roosters to guard my temple when I'm away.

55 Ton, Mobile Diner
Battletech: Stripped down war tank. 6 Tons of Chrome, 2 Tons of sound system and 1.5 tons of ice cream.

Rod of Pants Destruction
Ravenloft (D&D): Intelligent magical item with a temper.

Flaming Garden Weasel
WoD: The best all around impliment for fighting or tilling your garden, imbued by a sorcerer.

Shriner Car and Fez
Rifts: The ultimate ride for an 7 ft tall feline death machine.

Ring of See Illusions
D&D: Cursed item, Note it doesn't say see through Illusion.

Ballista Bolts of Healing
D&D: About the only time when it is good to get hit by a Ballista. (Thunk)"Argh... Wait, I'm healed...But stuck to the ground."

Boddice (cleavage) of Holding
D&D: The first thing that the female character (played by a female gamer) does when she gets a portable hole is slip it into her blouse/boddice. She likes to freak NPCs, player characters and even eavesdropping passers-by when she produces or hides large items from or into her cleavage.

Masterwork Sledgehammer Lockpicks
D&D: At the beginning of the game we had no theives that could pick locks, so the fighter had a masterwork sledgehammer. Eventually it was supposed to have a knock spell put on it. Due to the game situations Endless Flame was put on it, so it became the flaming masterwork sledgehammer lockpick. The flame gave of light but no heat, so the fighter would stick it under his chin and do "Flaming head" gags.

Vorpal Food Processor
D&D: Can process anything. I just love Dragon Salad Sandwitches.

Wall of Farce
D&D: Oh, the joys of bad handwriting.

Bigby's Pimpin' Backhand
D&D: Somatic Component is three snaps.

Prismatic Nail polish
D&D: Your nails will be different colored and allow you un-armed attacks to have the effect of prismatic ray.

Most Creative Uses for Normal Items/Powers:

Create Element: Water
Werewolf: Shove hand down baddies throat, Create water.

Home brewed system: Teleport coin into Baddies' head.

Protoculture Engine
Robotech: Wire them as bombs. If they'll power a mecha, they'll blow up good.

Portable Bridge
D&D: Trap detector.

Bag of Animals-Small
D&D: No baddie, no matter how bad@ss, can calmly fight your group after you have shoved a weasel down his pants.

Beam of Level Up-ing
Rolemaster: In Rolemaster, you get XP for doing and also taking damage. In one plot driven game, we were walking through a run down house. The ceiling caved in and my character was hit by a large roof beam that did damage. I was close to the next level and after the session, the damage done to me by the beam put me to the next level. My character carried that Beam for a while believing that it was good luck.

Magical Figurine - Raven
D&D: Send prank phone calls.

Daern's Instant Fortress
D&D: Place in baddies mouth (or over them) and activate.

Rolemaster: Dropped on baddie from cloud level.

Shapechanging Whale
Rifts: Bellyflop!

Ion Pistol
Star Wars: Organic Attention getter. It doesn't hurt any living creature, so you can use it to subtlely get someone's attention. Damage to hair due to intense frizzing is a slight drawback.

Life sized statue of Stephan Aramis (Battletech's version of Hitler) and a pair of rollerskates.
Battletech: We rolled him around as a shield and trap detector as we tried escaping from an enemy fortress. He did such a good job, our merc commander propoted him to Company Tactician, which meant that half the PC were ranked below a statue.

Pyrokinesis and immunity to fire.
Rifts: Great distraction. Set yourself on fire and try to get people to put you out.

Alchemy: Hair remover
D&D: splashing the uppity Rakshsha with industrial strength 'Nair'. Good thing Eppiladies aren't invented yet.

Most Unique Skills or Powers:

Skills are the life of any character and imperative for any roleplaying experience. Sometimes players need a unique knowledge skill or combine skills in new and unique ways.

Sing and Language: Binary
Robotech (Palladium): Combine the two. Who can keep a dry eye after hearing the haunting 'ON ON ON OFF OFF ON OFF'.

Play: Etherial Monster Tournament Chess
Home Brewed Superhero game: I knew how to play chess with an Etherial monster and more importantly, I knew how to cheat the Etherial Monster at Tournament Chess.

Porn Film Producer
ShadowRun: Make and direct your own pornos. See Quotes.

Knowledge: David Attenborough
D&D: You know how to make a good nature documentary.

Sleight of Tongue
Mutants and Masterminds: for a juvenile delinquent character to stick gum under a table without being caught.

Craft: Maccaroni and Cheese
D&D: I can cook "bachelor chow".

Proffession: Steet Performer, Proffession: Mime
Various: It should scare anyone that I use these so commonly.

Rolemaster: In Middle Earth, amid the sword and sorcery, you too can catch a wave. "Yo Gandalf Dude! Hang Ten! Urak Hai don't Surf!"

Shrink Heads
D&D: You don't want to carry around full size heads, do you?

Profession: Nerf Hearder
StarWars: Who's scruffy looking?

Weapon Proficiency: Humanoid
D&D Second Ed.: Wield a man sized and shaped thing like a club.

'Sop him up with a biscuit' roll
Mutants and Mastermind: All the female characters had to save versus the shapechanger who looked like Joaquin Phoenix.

Knowledge: Junk bonds, Play: Jazz Susaphone, Knowledge: "Beer so Cheap that no one would drink it unless they couldn't afford anything better".
Sluggy Freelance RPG: It's really self explanatory for the game.




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